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Saturday, October 13, 2012

Just Another Nightmare





I see everyone around me, talking to each other, laughing at the top of their voices, screaming madness around, but today I’m not feeling a thing but pain. I feel my heart is weighing me down today. Tears wouldn’t stop coming. It’s as if they have their unending supply. I feel weak. I can’t feel my legs; maybe I should sit down before I hurt myself. But then again, who cares if I get hurt! My family? Well, they aren’t here right now. My friends? Well, I don’t let them see through me, so they have no idea what I’m going through right now. 

I think I’m gonna sit in the balcony. Maybe I will find solace staring at the sky.

The sky seems as empty as me, without the twinkling stars, blinded by its own pain and hollow. I see her face. She looks amazing, and with the sun behind her, she looks like a Goddess. God, my eyes hurt.

Am I turning crazy? What is that keeps taking me back to her every time I try to stay away?


If I stay away, maybe for the first few weeks I will cry, I will be lonely, I will yell at people, I will hurt myself or maybe I will even start drinking to find peace. But after that phase goes down, I will find someone else to look up to, someone else to care about, someone else to love.

But I could never go down that road. Some force pulls me every time I try, and it’s all back to square one. I’m a failure after all.

I notice people gathering down. They are yelling at me because I’m sitting right on the edge of the balcony on the third floor. They don’t know I’m in control; I’m not drunk stupid!

I see Neha among them, calling me. Yeah that’s her; I can see her! I can’t figure out the words she keeps muttering from down there. Maybe I should go down and have a closer listen to what she’s speaking. But I can’t feel my legs just yet; I won’t be able to climb down the stairs.

“Wait Neha, I will be down right away.” I pass my words onto her at a voice louder than any person around her screaming.

She hears me. She’s smiling.

“I’m coming…” my legs are strong enough to move and push me away from the balcony into the wind. I’m flying. The air feels cold.

Hey wait, something’s not right!!! I’m falling!!! Nooo………!!!!!” 

A cold sweat trickled along the edge of my face. A dream? Well, just another nightmare. I should go back to sleep. It’s not even dawn yet.






P.S. Now that you guys have managed to reach the end of this post, somehow, please be generous enough to let me know how you liked it, or not of course! I always encourage criticism, but still I hope I won’t get much this time. I hope you guys liked it and enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. 

~M@NM@Y~


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