http://lovelifemyguitar.blogspot.in/2012/12/the-story-so-far.html ---> THE STORY SO FAR

http://lovelifemyguitar.blogspot.in/2012/11/the-prank-call.html --> THE PRANK CALL.


Do leave a comment at the end of the post you read.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I love someone who loves someone else

As we go around finding true love, we all experience turbulences, speed bumps, sharp turns, lots & lots of tears (ask me), thousands of text messages, gobs of apologies, few rough patches, on your face, crafted intelligently by someone’s palm (;)), some a$$H()|E$, some b!T(hE$ and if I continue to point things out here, I’m sure the list will be having some thousand points by the end of the day.

Anyways, in spite of all these do we stop our search? We fall in love repeatedly hoping that things will turn just fine this time. More often than not, they do not. But if they do, it makes a great love story. But what if it doesn’t? It makes the person, who lost his/her love; drown in their own pond, fall into their own pit, it makes you feel lonely and you start cursing God for whatever happened & how could He do such a thing to you! It makes you wonder if true love really does exist in this world. It makes you want to lock yourselves in a room, feel as if you are going to die and lets you mourn over your own demise.

“Love is like gravity. You can try to go against, but you really can’t. You can jump off a cliff, trying of fly, but you will not. You will fall. It is inevitable. Similarly, falling in love cannot be pretended. It is inevitable too.
And if you are smart enough to recognize that it is real, you should be smart enough to fight for it and never let it go. Life doesn’t give too many second chances. Don’t let love ever pass by you.”

You may hear these lines from a person who tries to console you and asks you to fight for your lost love, but what if you can’t just fight for it? What if you that make you look one sick and selfish bastard?

I LOVE SOMEONE WHO LOVES SOMEONE ELSE. Let’s face it. I can’t just try to win her over by disputing her relationship with that guy. Should I? My conscience would never let me do that. She is happy and so am I. I mean, I’m happy for her, not for me. But isn’t that what being in love is all about? Sacrificing for the sake of their happiness?

It’s funny how one’s life takes a sudden U-turn.

It was 6th of November. I recently had my number changed and she had hers; so I, by no means, could contact her over phone having lost all previous contact numbers. I started a chat, seeing her online on facebook. Greetings were soon followed by some random talks. God, I had missed her so much. I hadn’t been able to be in touch with her since a week now and finally I reached her. I had so much to talk to her about.

“Hey, i won Miss Rose title on our college’s fresher’s night” she said.
“Ohh!! That’s Lovely. You didn’t you get some sort of crown, did you?” I joked as i didn’t think she would have been offered a crown too for the title she had just won.
“Yup, that and a 112 roses bouquet.” She replied.
“So you did win a crown!! That’s superb. Congrats. J
“Thank you, but you didn’t think I could win?” she asked.
“What!... No… There was never a doubt ;)”

Just then, I saw an update of hers on facebook and realized that to be her relationship status update “Neha has changed her relationship status from being Single to In a Relationship” it read. Holy Shit!!! I was stupefied. Earlier, she did mention about being confused of being in love with some guy but she never happens to mention his name. I secretly wished that guy to be me, if miracles do happen. But seeing this relationship update of hers, i was more than just shocked and i knew it wasn’t me she was talking about then. “There was never a doubt”? Ha! How ironical!

“It’s time to tell me what you have been hiding ever since” I asked her.
I knew that knowing the name won’t be good for me. Moreover, what could i possibly do if i come to know the guy’s name? But i wanted to know who the guy was.

“I will tell you but this isn’t the time. I will tell you some other time” she replied
“What!! Why? What’s there to hide now?”
“I promise i will tell you but not now… I can’t tell now.”
“What’s the point in not telling now? You are promising you would tell me the name later so eventually you will, right? Why not now then?”
“Just like that.”
“Just like that?? Why are you hiding things from me? For our friendship’s sake please tell me. I’m way too curious to know the name. At least tell me how do you know him and when did this happen?” I was starting to get restless.
“We had been friends since last 2 years and this happened about 2 months ago.”
“Hmm... Now, the name please....”
“Sorry but i can’t tell you now”
“Go to hell for doing this to me. You are depriving me of my right to know the name. So go to hell!!” I was panicking now.
“okkk...” she replied
“Okkk??? You are saying okkk???”
“Ok, 1 hint. You know him…”

Then, i saw a facebook friend of mine had also updated his relationship status just after 5 minutes from hers. I was confused, is he the one? Nahh, can’t be? I started praying God, “He can’t be the one?? No... Not he... please!!!!

I didn’t even know the guy, even if he was from my college, but still i had sent him a friend request just like that. Now, may be because he was in my facebook friend list she thought i must know that guy. Of her hint, i guessed his name.
“Is it Debashis???”

It was heart breaking. I logged out of facebook. I had earlier decided that once she says the name, other than mine of course, I would stay away from her. Images of her holding hands with him, resting in his arms and what not, started haunting me soon.

I went outside my room. Now, knowing that I have lost her, I couldn’t keep the pain inside and cry before my room-mate. I went to the balcony, sat there and soon enough, tiny little saline ambassadors of water rushed their way out of my eyes.

Curses soon followed. After few minutes of cursing; asking God why He did this to me, wasn’t i loyal enough, wasn’t my love strong enough, tears stopped finally after having sucked almost all the water from my body. I was feeling very weak now. I washed my face, covered my tear tracks; I went to Ankit’s room. I needed someone around and Ankit was closest to me, in my college. He also knew that i was in love with Neha.

In my hostel, a single room was supposed to accommodate two persons. Ankit’s room was no different. Two beds lay in the room. Ankit was working on some of his club's business on his laptop when i knocked his door. I went in and sat on the bed opposite to him. He told me what he was working on. I just nodded and asked him to continue his work while i would just sit there. Not that didn’t want him to know what just happened, but I just couldn’t say it to him.

“Wassup?” he asked me.
“Ahh!! No..Not..nothing…” Damn!! I was hardly able to speak. I felt a huge lump in my throat and words just wouldn’t come out.
“Dude, something wrong? And why are eyes red?” he asked

I just nodded implying there was nothing wrong, but then a tear drop accidentally slipped from my eyes. He came and sat beside me asking again what was wrong!
“Did Neha do anything?”

I couldn’t control anymore and unending flow of tears started again, but still I couldn’t answer him. I just kept crying in his arms. He was trying hard to console me but i wouldn’t stop crying. He was feeling sorry for me. After sometime i stopped crying i didn’t know how to tell him about what just happened to me. He asked me again after I stopped crying but I would just turn my head away and another tear would slip its way out. I rushed out of his room.

Entering my room, I dumped myself in my bed and tried to sleep avoiding my room-mate any sort of eye contact. I wasn’t able to sleep. After trying hard to sleep for around 3 hours, I could finally sleep to find myself awake only at 1PM the next day.

I wonder, what my life would be from here on, now that i know she is in a relationship? But this fact doesn’t change least of it; I still wanted her to be happy and I still wanted her around. I still cared about her more than anything.  I still loved her but my love is for someone who loves someone else.



  1. oh hw wonderfully u brought to words evrytng dat one feels wen we r in dat state
    its painfully simple but excruciatingly honest too !!

  2. Thank U so much ..
    feedback most appreciated :)


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